Melanie Shmois

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Doubt Your Self-Doubt

One of the biggest areas that I help my clients in is working with self-doubt. Self-doubt is that nasty inner voice that comes in and questions our ability to do something and zaps our confidence. Many of my clients are attempting to do something outside their comfort zone, so as soon as they make this declaration to step out and do something they are dreaming of, self-doubt swoops in to question it. 

What many people don’t stop and do is question or doubt the self-doubt. Instead, they succumb to its unhelpful skepticism, and if left unchecked, it can hold them back from moving forward. A client recently had an exciting idea in the shower that she was excited to bring forward at a corporate meeting. While driving into the office, she was flooded with thoughts questioning her ability and ideas. Luckily, she could voice message me, and I encouraged her to doubt her self-doubt, and she marched into her meeting and presented her idea.  

Had we not taken this moment to doubt our doubt, she said she would have likely sat on the idea and robbed the company of an important initiative that saved the organization a lot of time and money.  

This reminds me of the human tendency to ask for feedback and get nine positive reviews and one negative one and spend all of our time, energy, and focus on the negative one. What I want to offer is that sometimes our self-doubt can be useful in that it can point us to an area that maybe we need more training in or to practice something a bit more before presenting it to the world. Still, primarily, our self-doubt is not rooted in anything other than plain fear. Remember, the brain sometimes perceives new ventures as dangerous because we haven’t done them before and proved that we are okay doing them. Still, our brain doesn’t always realize that the only way to get good at things is by doing them, and sometimes, there has to be a first time when we are certainly not the expert. 

So, the next time you get excited about something you desire or want to present and that self-doubt comes rushing in, take a moment to doubt it. Remind your brain that you will be okay no matter the outcome, and if it falls flat, you will learn from it. Doubt your doubt, my friends, and have more belief in your capabilities.

If this is something you struggle with regularly and would like some coaching, feel free to reach out for some coaching support so that the self-doubt doesn’t kill your dreams.

Melanie