"Strength is how you shut down the voice in your head that says "I can't"-Emma Xu

 Self-doubt is one of the most common topics in my coaching sessions and my own coaching. Whenever we set a big goal or want to uplevel in some way, we often have thoughts questioning our ability to do so. Many of us resist this feeling or take it as a sign that we are not supposed to pursue this goal when in reality, doubtful thinking is typically the main issue holding us back.

I remember the first time I signed up for a long-distance race, I was filled with self-doubt, thinking that I would never be able to fit in training, do the runs, and ultimately give up on the day of the race. When I realized through coaching that this was a regular part of growth, I worked hard to overcome self-doubt with ladder thoughts that created confidence and trust in myself.

I practiced believing that if I scheduled my training runs, followed my trainer's instructions, and practiced believing in myself, I would give myself the best chance to complete the race. Finishing the race was equally as likely as the thoughts I couldn't that were swirling around in my head. Instead of shying away from this thought and the feelings that it created, I now embrace it and take it as a sign that I am growing and playing with a new edge.

It is so easy to believe in self-doubt because it feels so genuine, primarily since we likely have not yet accomplished the goal that we have set for ourselves. Our mind likes to be efficient and do what it has always done so when we create a new goal, play with a new edge, we will likely be filled up by those doubting thoughts. If I have never run 5 miles before, then it is easy to believe I won't be able to.

While on a coaching call, I asked a client if she had ever stopped and doubted her doubt, and she laughed out loud and said that she hadn't even considered it to be an option but immediately recognized how likely it was that she could do what she set out to do.

So, my friends, I invite you to doubt your self-doubt. Just know that it is a normal part of the growth process, and though it can feel true, it is equally valid that you will be able to accomplish your goal or get close to doing so.

Speaking of new edges, I have just launched a new 1:1 mentorship container called "New Edge." Please reach out if you want support, accountability, and coaching to help you see it through.

Melanie