Melanie Shmois

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The Real Problem with Overthinking (and How to Overcome It)

Let’s get one thing straight—overthinking in and of itself isn’t a problem. Your brain is wired to think, analyze, and process information. It’s designed to help you navigate the world, and overthinking is simply a natural extension of that function.

The real issue arises when we allow our brains to obsess over negative, worst-case scenarios without intervention. It’s not the act of thinking that’s harmful, but the direction and focus of our thoughts. Too often, we find ourselves spiraling into a loop of worry, fear, and self-doubt, convincing ourselves that disaster is imminent—even when we’re completely safe.

Step 1: Get It Out of Your Head

The first step to breaking the overthinking cycle is awareness. If you’ve ever worked on a complex math problem, you wouldn’t try to solve it all in your head. You’d grab a pen and paper and write out each step so you could clearly see where you’re going wrong or right. The same goes for overthinking.

Writing down your thoughts, no matter how jumbled or overwhelming they seem, gives you a clearer perspective. It’s no longer a murky cloud in your mind—it’s right there in black and white. A lot of people resist this step because it feels uncomfortable or unnecessary, but it's critical. By putting your thoughts on paper, you’re giving yourself the chance to observe them, rather than be consumed by them.

Step 2: Re-Direct Your Brain

Once you’ve gained awareness of your thoughts, it’s time to take the reins and guide them in a more productive direction. Our brains are wired to keep us safe, and often that means highlighting potential threats or failures when we’re about to do something new or unfamiliar. This is a survival mechanism, not a doom-and-gloom curse.

But here’s the truth: you are not in danger most of the time. More often than not, you’re in a growth period. Growth feels uncomfortable because it pushes you out of your comfort zone, but that’s where real fulfillment comes from. When you notice your mind flooding you with worst-case scenarios, you have the power to redirect your thoughts. Ask yourself: What’s the best that could happen?

Instead of letting fear and negativity run the show, remind your brain that it doesn’t need to protect you from every little discomfort. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to keep trying, learning, and growing.

Finding Fulfillment by Managing Overthinking

In my work as a coach, I’ve seen countless high-achieving women feel stuck, not because they aren’t capable of success, but because their minds get in the way. Overthinking keeps them spinning in circles, preventing them from experiencing joy, passion, and fulfillment.

But here’s the good news: you can train your mind to stop focusing on the negatives and embrace the possibilities. By learning to manage your thoughts, you’re not just overcoming overthinking—you’re laying the foundation for a fulfilling life, one where external success aligns with internal satisfaction.

Remember, fulfillment doesn’t come from fixing everything that could go wrong. It comes from embracing the process, taking risks, and trusting yourself to grow through every challenge.

If you’re ready to stop overthinking and start feeling good from the inside out, let’s talk. Together, we can build a mindset that supports not just your goals but your happiness and fulfillment, too.