Imposter Syndrome

Questions you can ask to see if you have it:

Do you feel your accomplishments are due to luck or chance, not your talent or smarts? 

Are you worried you will be exposed as a fraud (even if you are well into your career)? 

Do you worry that you will make a mistake or miss something? 

It's not that you don’t think you have accomplished a lot of things or that you don’t believe that you are high functioning; you don’t BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE 

There is a cognitive dissonance between all that you know you have accomplished and that other people know that you have achieved compared to how you feel inside. 

Definition: Feeling that you are an imposter, feeling, and fear that you will be found out to be undeserving or unqualified or revealed as a fraud 

-fear that we are going to be found out or that someone is going to reveal that we don’t know what we are doing or that we don’t deserve to be where we are 

Not good enough feeling, unworthy in some unspecified way 

Classic sign: I know rationally ____x but I feel _____why 

Where does it come from? 

Social conditioning + family baggage + self-critical thoughts.

-Many of us are taught either that our looks are super important or that our accomplishments/our brain are so significant, so we get the message that to be worthy, we need to accomplish a lot (not just be loved and respected for who we are) 

-women, in general, are taught to worry about what other people think of them 

Impacts of Imposter Syndrome: 

• It feels terrible 

• It doesn’t go away on its own; it's often tied to perfectionism, and our brain often lies to us and tells us that if we get that next goal, we will be worthy. 

• No level of accomplishment will mute those voices in your head. 

(example of thoughts: you don’t deserve your success, you accidentally got where you are, that you are not smart enough or good enough, or someone will figure you out) 

There is nothing you can change externally that will resolve those internal voices. 

WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR THOUGHTS 

Going from imposter syndrome to believing in yourself is the thought ladder. 

3-step process:  

1). Figuring out what you are thinking about yourself NOW

(I don’t belong here; I am not as good as my colleagues; someone is going to figure out I don’t know enough)

-This thought goes at the bottom of the ladder (pick one single thought) 

2). Brainstorm what you wish you could think about yourself

(Remember you don’t believe this now about yourself)

It's a goal thought, dream big, you

I am smart enough to succeed at any position I am in; I’m incredible at this job, and I can achieve anything I want 

3). Brainstorm three thoughts you can think of right now

-An in-between thought

For example, I have experience equivalent to my colleagues; they hired me because they thought I would do a good job. I have accomplished a lot in my life, even when I felt unsure or insecure

-Not impressive, I’m on top of the world thought

-You have to believe it now

-You have to practice the three thoughts you came up with

-Put it on a post-it note, a reminder on your phone

You don’t have to be perfectionistic about it, but you do have to practice them, and eventually they will become your new thought

You have a right to learn, be a beginner at something, and go first without evidence that it will work. This makes you brave to explore the unknown and work with your edges. Otherwise, you would always be in your comfort zone; we know growth doesn’t come from there. 

Nothing represents limiting beliefs more clearly than imposter syndrome. You know the old beliefs/voices in your head that tell you you are not ready yet, question, who am I to teach this? or I need one more certification or degree before I launch…….. These limiting beliefs often rob you from doing something in alignment with your purpose and passion, and beyond that, can rob your potential listener of having a profound insight into what you have to offer.  

What is imposter syndrome anyway? 

My Definition: Feeling that you are an imposter, feeling and fearing that you will be found out to be undeserving or unqualified or revealed as a fraud 

The dictionary defines it as:  

imposter syndrome

        the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved due to one's efforts or skills.
"people suffering from impostor syndrome may be at increased risk of anxiety." 

What I see from my clients is this cognitive dissonance from all that you know you have accomplished and that other people know that you have achieved compared to how you  FEEL inside. It is more of a deep belief and feeling that you are not enough internally, even though externally, you might have the degrees on the wall or resume that might state otherwise.  

Many people need help understanding that there is nothing you can change externally that will resolve the internal voices in your head. I promise you that extra degrees, certifications, classes, or books will not make it go away. What has to change are YOUR BELIEFS about your abilities and to switch from focusing on yourself to the people who could benefit from your work.  

When I start to have imposter syndrome around these blog posts or when I’m asked to give a big presentation, I remind myself to focus on you, the reader, and if my writing can help one person, it is more than worth it.  

I also encourage my clients to practice thinking thoughts that build their belief in themselves. Thoughts like: My work in the world can help someone, my insights are profound because no one else has had the same experiences as me, or I am becoming someone who believes in myself to put my best work out there.  

You can have a wall full of degrees, but if you don’t believe in yourself, then this imposter syndrome will rob you and your audience from changing their lives. The next time you feel the worry that you will be found out, name it imposter syndrome, remind yourself of your purpose and the people you can help, and finally, practice thoughts that deepen your belief in yourself.  

You have a right to learn, be a beginner at something, and go first without evidence that it will work. This makes you brave to explore the unknown and work with your edges. Otherwise, you would always be in your comfort zone; we know growth doesn’t come from there.  

If you still feel like you need additional education, go for it, but practice those thoughts alongside it so that once you have the knowledge you need, you are ready to share it and your gifts with the world. 

If imposter syndrome is holding you back in some way and you would like to work with me on it individually, please respond to this email to discuss further.

Melanie