What if Everyone was Okay with it?
This week, I was working with a client who had a significant career decision to make. He has a pattern of overthinking choices in his life, so during our coaching call, I invited him to break this pattern and make a decision not to overthink this one. It was easier said than done, but after several conversations, some important realizations were uncovered.
1). Confusion is often a smoke screen for fear
-Meaning, instead of deciding, we often indulge in confusion so we don’t have to face our fears. We unusually know what we want to do. We don’t want to face our fear of what will happen when we decide
2). People Pleasing often clouds our true desires
-It can be so easy to get bogged down by what we think other people will feel about our decisions and keep us spinning in overthinking
3). We ask too many people what we should do
-The more people you ask, the more thoughts you will receive, which can complicate your decision-making. I encourage that you ask no more than 2-3 people depending on how big the decision is, and if possible, ask people who are doing what you want to do vs. outsiders. Remember, no one can know better than you what is best for YOU
4). Ask more empowering questions to find your answer
-My client found it very helpful when I asked him: If you knew that no one would be upset with you, which path would you choose?
-This question helped me see what he truly wanted, and then we got to work on how to manage his feelings about other people’s feelings
5). Have your own back
-No matter what decision you make, make sure you have your own back no matter what
The next time you need to make a big decision, pull this blog out and cross-check these steps to help combat overthinking and improve self-trust and self-love.
Stay tuned for some exciting new offers to come through, like ‘The Match’ which is my new group program going on pre-sale designed soon to help you match your external reality (you know, the one we put online) to our internal one :)
Melanie
