Busyness as a Smokescreen

“When we try to juggle everything, we can’t enjoy anything.”

-bemorewithless.com

One common theme I see when working with many high-performing clients is the tendency to be very busy. Even when not working, many of my clients fill their time producing, cleaning, and finding any activity to fill the time. While it is fantastic to be productive, this business can be a smokescreen. Behind the screen can be a massive fear of feeling.

I also remember that when I transitioned from doing therapy to coaching, I had a lighter schedule as I built my business and had a hard time with the empty time blocks and the more extended moments alone. My default was to fill the space. The void sometimes felt unbearable, but I challenged myself to build my capacity to feel by staying a little longer every time I desperately wanted to avoid feeling.

Why do we avoid feeling our feelings? Because they can be messy, wildly uncomfortable, and many of us were not taught how to handle our emotions. We also have so many distractions these days. Repressing our discomfort can be very easy with so much tech around us.

If you are feeling burned out with your busy schedule or that as soon as some feeling starts to arise, you busy yourself with a task or take little to no time to slow down; you might have created this smokescreen for yourself.

Instead, see if you can build your capacity slowly to feel your feeling, even just a few minutes or moments longer than you want to. Let’s say you have a difficult conversation that you have to have with your boss; instead of avoiding it, see if you step into the anxiety for a moment and let yourself feel it instead of unloading the dishwasher, calling a friend, or scrolling on Instagram.

Also, make time throughout your day to have some quiet moments with yourself, whether stepping outside for a stroll, being in nature, or meditating. Notice if you want to crawl out of your skin and jump back into work or allow whatever emotions arise.

Ironically, the more we allow our feelings, the quicker they pass, and we move forward with what we desire. I’m not saying it's easy, but what we repress comes to the surface anyway, and often more intensely.

If this lands with you and you want to build more time to rest, relax, and allow any emotions, don’t hesitate to discuss ways to work together.

Melanie