Do you want to change or would you rather transform?
“Transformation literally means going beyond your form” -Wayne Dyer
This past week I have been pondering the difference between change and transformation. I believe that most what most of my clients truly crave is transformation but often find themselves experimenting with temporary change. So what is the difference? From all of my research, it appears that change has to do with modifying behaviors for a specific length of time. Weather it’s forgoing carbs for a few weeks, joining a gym for a few months, or quitting smoking for a year, on some level, people still really yearn for the thing they have given up and never really transform into the person that doesn’t desire it any longer. Often times we return to what is comfortable and familiar even though it may be hurting us or holding us back in some way.
Transformation on the other hand involves us changing form completely and no longer desiring our old way of being. Have you ever given up something and now can’t even picture yourself doing it? I used to have a serious addiction to Diet Coke for example. It was part of my identity. My family members would stock it for me, co-workers would bring it to me, and I drank it multiple times a day. I gave it up cold turkey 3 years ago and have no desire for it at all today. I am transformed to a person who doesn’t drink pop ever. I did the same with exercise. I used to struggle to make exercise a regular part of my life- stopping and starting for years. Now, I can’t imagine a life without consistent movement, and as you might have read before, I transformed into a person who exercises. My theory is that transformation starts with change, but many of us are not taught how to manage the urge and desire to go back to our old ways. Consequently, we return to our old way of being because we don’t know how to handle feeling deprived, hungry, or restless. As a result, we go back to what feels more comfortable even if it doesn’t serve us.We are also not prepared for the identity shift that transpires when we transform. Many of my clients who have lost a significant amount of weight literally look like a different person and completely transform their relationship with food. They have to identify with being a thin person for the first time, and it can feel strange. It’s like the first hour or two of wearing your Halloween costume. You are so aware that you are dressed up and looking different, but after several hours, you forget you are even wearing it. This is what transformation can feel like at first. Transformation comes from allowing ourselves to experience the urge without giving in for a long enough period of time so that the desire goes away all together. When your desire has diminished you are pretty much free. Over desire and over hunger for food that doesn’t fuel us is the reason many of us are overweight. Over desire for alcohol is the reason for overdrinking - and for some alcoholism. What if you didn’t desire alcohol or junk food at all? You would be transformed. So what I want to offer you is to consider whether you want the change to be short-term or long-term? Long-term change lends itself to transformation, and transformation is a total identity shift. It is uncomfortable until it is comfortable.
We are going from a caterpillar to a butterfly; a complete change in form. In that you will have to allow yourself to have urges to go back to your old ways without resisting or avoiding them. If you do this long enough, you will be transformed. Are you ready to transform?If so, I am here to help you manage those urges and desires.I don’t want you to be a faster caterpillar for 30 days, I’d rather see you become a butterfly.
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