Don't wait, love her now

I had this fantasy that when I got to my goal weight everything in my life would fall in place. I would have self-love, lower stress levels and general happiness. Guess what? I lost the weight, and I didn’t have the self-love, the lower stress levels and that total fulfillment I dreamed of. Instead I had more sophisticated ways to beat myself up and a newfound fear of gaining the weight back. Sounds like fun, right? Surgeon general warning: when you do get to your goal weight, your body may not look like a runway model’s, and if you haven’t loved yourself on the journey to lose the weight, you won’t fully appreciate it when you get there.

Why? Because you cannot hate they very thing that you are trying to change. How can you work on loving your worst enemy – yourself- if you spend every day in a cycle of self-loathing?  Ultimately, without a change in your mental strategy, you will just find another thing about your body that you don’t like, even if you lose some pounds. The cycle won’t ever end.This week alone I have heard from clients things like “I’m fat. I’m gross. My stomach is disgusting, I can’t even look at myself” to name a few. This breaks my heart and is most likely breaking yours as you read this or had something to yourself to this effect. So what to do? It may be too big of a stretch to say to yourself that you are beautiful right off the bat when you’re feeling low (even if I and others around believe you are), so try something like,” I may not be where I want to be right now, but I am on my way to a healthier me and I am going to be loving to myself during the process.” Or “I like my body now and appreciate everything I can do with it”. Better than then above, no?

Another way to attack the mean girl inside is to combat her with gratitude. Focus on what your body is doing for you, not against you. Think about all the intricate process going on inside to allow you to function all day. Your heart pumping  all the necessary blood to your organs, breaking down all the necessary foods to give you nutrients and energy throughout the day, regardless of all the mean things you tell her. Be grateful for all that your body does for you. It is actually quite humbling to do so. Your body doesn’t have thoughts about itself, no drama, it is functioning for you!

Your mind must be on the same side of your body.  Be grateful and meet it with love and the rest will follow.  Don’t wait. You will miss out on days, months, and in many cases, years of inner peace. Why miss out on that! Till next time recovering self-haters and daily meditators.~to dive in deeper join me for a complimentary mini-session or learn more @ mindyourstrength.com

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, I worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School. I am also an Intuitive coach and Shadow integration Master.

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Mom guilt dismantled