Saying No & Setting Boundaries: How I'm Taking Control in a Year of Change

In looking back over the first quarter, I'm hyper-aware of how I want to spend the next three.

I'm mindful that this is a year of transition for me, with one of my daughters going off to college, so I want to be gentle with myself as our parental relationship evolves. I also want to stay focused and committed to my goals even as we shift our household dynamic, plan summer trips, and juggle the day-to-day tasks.

One of my big goals this year is to advocate for myself in a way where I become less of a people pleaser.

I know that will take practice, and it doesn't happen by hoping for it. I have to DO it!

In other words, I have to notice the feelings in my body that arise when I say no, ask for clarity, or set a boundary.

When I notice those feelings, sometimes I want to run, but I often try the Mel Robbins "5 Second" technique, where I count to 5 and go for it. It's kind of like jumping into a cold pool!

What's something you're working on this year that you don't want to lose focus on as life gets busy? How can you use the "The 5 Second Rule" to push yourself forward when you resist growth?

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, I worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School. I am also an Intuitive coach and Shadow integration Master.

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